April 1, 2015

South By Southwest Style

Blazer, Blouse, Loafers: Madewell; Jewelry: JCrew; Shorts and Hat: Urban Outfitters
Just the basics for my trip to Austin for South By Southwest.  I find myself continuing to gravitate towards men's fashion.  From loafers to oversized button ups, pin stripes and loose blazers.  The palette of black, white and denim complement the effortless side of me.  In fact, I could live in white tees and denim all day, every day prrrrobably for the rest of my life.  It's really the only two wardrobe essentials I need.

January 18, 2015

Sol

Dress: FreePeople; Photos by Carlee Komar

This is a story of a girl.  A girl who’s heart was made of sunsets.  She loved a boy, who’s eyes were made of moonlight.  Together they stood on the edge of the world, overlooking the deep blue sea.  As she gazed into his eyes, he spoke the words she longed to hear.  “I belong to you,” he whispered, as the words carried through the wind, falling on the ears of clouds.  He reached out and grabbed her hand, delicately knotting a string around her finger.  It was a reminder that no matter the distance between them, he would always be tied to her.  As he began revealing all the mysteries of his heart, the girl vanished into thin air.  A violent gust of wind had carried her away, tumbling her through the sky.  You see, the sky wanted to possess the girl like it possessed the sun, the moon and all of the stars - vowing to love her better, than the boy ever could.  
As the girl traveled through time and space, the wind that tore her from the earth, finally surrendered her body to a cloud, where she laid transformed.  Sparkling.  The rays of sunlight had woven pink into her hair, and kissed her skin golden, with the scent of heaven.  There, she laid her head to find her dreams, and fell asleep.  For even though her heart was made of sunsets, it belonged to a boy, who's eyes were setting.
The boy didn’t know what happened to the girl.  As the night turned into day, and the day turned into a week, and a week into a month, and a month into a year - and a year into a century - the boy waited on the edge of that cliff for her return.  He battled all the elements of the sky - from the scorching heat to the numbing cold.  From torrential downpours of rain to passionate bursts of wind - he never faltered.  Instead, he endured, no matter how weathered or weary he had become.  His heart lived for return...
When the girl finally awoke, high amongst the clouds, she could see the boy.  Waiting, where she was taken from him.  She screamed his name!  She waved her arms frantically, and jumped up and down. But it was no use.  The boy could not see her.  The boy could not hear her...  
She became so tormented watching him from afar, noticing the moon rise and fall in his eyes every night.  The girl looked down at her hand, as a tear fell from her eye onto earth, and remembered the string.  Still tied.  Still whole.
She was growing restless, desperately wanting him to know that she watched over him, and that she loved him infinitely.  So, every morning and every night, she collected all the particles of light and scattered them across the sky, painting him all the stories of her heart.  
Day after day, the boy stood on the edge, watching the changing colors of the sky up above.  He began to live for these moments of rises and sets.  For, they spoke to him in ways that only he could understand.  Each one entered his soul, bringing peace to fill his missing pieces.  They were the passion, the fury, the beauty, and all the subtleties of the love the boy had come to know.  Of the love he lived for.  Of the love he thought he lost…

December 26, 2014

Found...


I found happiness when I let it go.
Like a butterfly letting go of her cocoon,
before she even knew 
what it meant 
to fly.

I found happiness when I stopped chasing it.
Like a horse who spends her days chasing sunsets,
only to surrender,  
to the view in which she stood.
Because when she stared into that golden field,
wild and free,
she discovered how effortless it was to breathe.

I found happiness when I embraced change.
Like a feather afloat in the sky,
frayed, and sparkling beneath the sunlight.
It never fights the direction of its journey.
Instead, it understands.
Quietly - softly
dancing with grace to the rhythm of the wind.

I found happiness when I learned to live beyond my fear.
When I fought all of my tomorrows
with the breath of today.
I buried my worries, placing flowers on their graves.
The epitaph of a once dismantled heart read,
Your soul is free.  Go live.

November 29, 2014

Earth

Dress: Free People; Boots: Sam Edelman
I am rooted, but I flow.

November 13, 2014

Diamonds

An old unpublished excerpt of my pieces. Sometimes you need reminders of where you've been and where you are going.



{Press Play.}

  
3.29.14  
Someone told me that I don't know humility. From the outside, it may not appear that way. But I do.
The past year humbled me like never before. It brought me to what I felt like was the lowest inside. There were days, exhausted days, where it was hard to smile. My heart wept even when I wasn't. At 28, life stared me straight in the face and asked the question, "What are you going to do with your one, amazing life?"  And with no choice but my own, I let that question haunt me minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day... 
When you are forced to look deep within yourself - when you are forced to push all of your faults to the forefront - when you know that you can't go through this world alone - that's when you find humility.
It forces you to turn to someone, some thing, and get down on your knees and pray for strength, grace, and an answer. Over and over and over again I'd ask, 'What is it?  What do you want from me? What is my path?'  

The first time, it took God 12 months to answer my prayer.  A whole entire year for a - hits you smack dab in the middle of the face - answer.  Sure there were small promptings looking back.  But in order to move forward, I needed that ONE big answer.  Shortly after that, another one came, that literally threw me forward and said, 'You will feel like this no more.'  Two distinct prayers.  Two distinct answers.  Within hours of asking.
I don't know how it works.  I don't know what God has in store for us.  But I know He does not lead us astray.  He listens.  And He waits.  Until you have endured everything in that moment that you can endure. When you think you can't go on.  When you think you can't...
But I can.  I will.  Because I choose to run with wild abandon towards the life that I know waits for me.  The unsounding call to a higher purpose of love, passion, connection, growth.  One that prompts you to never settle.  Where your soul can be wild and free.  Your heart safe and protected.  These moments are the ones we keep living for.  The ones we continue to build and create.  The ones that feel too much to endure?  They are just the points in our lives that shape us.  You see.  We are like diamonds.  Heated to enormous degrees.  Squeezed under pressure.  And over time, we become strong, brilliant and rare.  So are our hearts.  Strong.  Brilliant.  Rare.