November 13, 2014

Diamonds

An old unpublished excerpt of my pieces. Sometimes you need reminders of where you've been and where you are going.



{Press Play.}

  
3.29.14  
Someone told me that I don't know humility. From the outside, it may not appear that way. But I do.
The past year humbled me like never before. It brought me to what I felt like was the lowest inside. There were days, exhausted days, where it was hard to smile. My heart wept even when I wasn't. At 28, life stared me straight in the face and asked the question, "What are you going to do with your one, amazing life?"  And with no choice but my own, I let that question haunt me minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day... 
When you are forced to look deep within yourself - when you are forced to push all of your faults to the forefront - when you know that you can't go through this world alone - that's when you find humility.
It forces you to turn to someone, some thing, and get down on your knees and pray for strength, grace, and an answer. Over and over and over again I'd ask, 'What is it?  What do you want from me? What is my path?'  

The first time, it took God 12 months to answer my prayer.  A whole entire year for a - hits you smack dab in the middle of the face - answer.  Sure there were small promptings looking back.  But in order to move forward, I needed that ONE big answer.  Shortly after that, another one came, that literally threw me forward and said, 'You will feel like this no more.'  Two distinct prayers.  Two distinct answers.  Within hours of asking.
I don't know how it works.  I don't know what God has in store for us.  But I know He does not lead us astray.  He listens.  And He waits.  Until you have endured everything in that moment that you can endure. When you think you can't go on.  When you think you can't...
But I can.  I will.  Because I choose to run with wild abandon towards the life that I know waits for me.  The unsounding call to a higher purpose of love, passion, connection, growth.  One that prompts you to never settle.  Where your soul can be wild and free.  Your heart safe and protected.  These moments are the ones we keep living for.  The ones we continue to build and create.  The ones that feel too much to endure?  They are just the points in our lives that shape us.  You see.  We are like diamonds.  Heated to enormous degrees.  Squeezed under pressure.  And over time, we become strong, brilliant and rare.  So are our hearts.  Strong.  Brilliant.  Rare.

October 24, 2014

A Thousand Daydreams

Photography by Carlee Komar
"There will be certain people and places that'll open your aliveness, flooding you with the same awe and sweet ache of a thousand daydreams revealed.  Hold those connections close, for one day you'll know a clearer view of what they truly were from the beginning-still moments of perfection in an ever spinning world." - Victoria Ricks 

September 16, 2014

Fall Style

Dress: Morgan James, Jacket: Morgan James; Hat: Topshop; Booties: Kate Spade Netta; Photography: Shalyn Nelson
Quite possibly one of my favorites looks we did for Morgan James out in Dallas.  The layers.  The camel and black color combo.  The leather trim detail.  And that hat.  Ready to put this outfit on repeat.  PS.  Can we talk about Dallas and how amazing it is?  Ready to put out into the Universe that it is OK if I move there someday.

September 12, 2014

Sillage

Dress: Morgan James, Photography: Shalyn Nelson
Sillage (n.) pronunciation 'sE-yazh:
The scent that lingers in the air, the trail left in the water, the impression made in space after something, or someone has been gone.
Some things, some, indescribable things, become delicate aches of sweet longing.  Like the smell of cologne that traces through the air.  Or the imprint on your skin after his hand disappears.  The cursive lines left from a kiss.  Or the parentheses of a smile.  A place; a hallway.  A moment; a feeling.  The contrails of the plane as it leaves, writing his name in clouds.  The dot dot dot.  And all the time spent spinning inside clocks.  The silhouette you see when you close your eyes.  The melody that plays when the song ends.  The constellations I've built from maps drawn of your freckles.  And how, no matter what I do, your love never escapes me.

September 8, 2014

A Dream

Dress: Morgan James, Photography: Shalyn Nelson
I'd like to distract each other.  To not know pressure, or drain, or ticking clocks or fleeting time.  To know that this is enough to trust we can leave our maps behind.  I'd like to be free with you.  Replacing chairs with gentle ground, windows with open space.  I'd like to memorize your hands, your voice, your smile.  And to know, and remember this hour, this day, this place.