Thoughts on Popularity

 
I was driving in my car, listening to the radio and the song "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye came on.  Again.  Saying that song is on rotation, is putting it mildly.  It's played on the hour, every hour, over and over again.

Several months ago, before that song blew up, I was obsessed with it.  Obsessed.  I would turn it up loud with the windows in my car rolled down, sing along, and press repeat to the happiness of my heart.  It was the first song that came out in a long time that sounded, different.  "Somebody..." wasn't just some meaningless, over-produced, over-sexed pop song that's been thrown at us by music execs and radio djs.  No, this song embodied the heart and emotion of a true artist.  And even though I couldn't necessarily relate to the lyrics, he drew me in, as he has most people.

When I hear the song on the radio, now that it has been inducted into the ranks of popular music, I've noticed it's changed; radio edit.  As if it wasn't perfect just the way it was, with it's funky beat, staccato, and bravado.  Now there is a strong club-like beat that wasn't there before.  Someone, somewhere felt the need to make it sound like all the rest...which got me thinking about popularity.

I never considered myself popular.  I felt like I always struggled.  I remember my freshman year of high school.  Large groups of girls gathered together all over campus and huddled in tight circles, talking, laughing, eating lunch.  And then there was me and my friend Cassie, on the outside and unsure of where we fit in.  We huddled alone together, just the two of us, away from everyone else.  And secretly, no - desperately, I hoped no one would notice me.  It was a moment in life where I physically wish I could have just disappeared.  You see, I was shy, insecure and unaware.  Eventually, we did move on to make a small group of friends, but still, I never felt like I fit in.  I'm sure I wasn't alone in that feeling.  

Looking back, I am grateful for the fact that I had my moments of struggle.  Because even when we're going through it, and it feels hard, and you have these days where all you want to do is curl up and cry, you're learning so much about yourself.  Fitting in can sometimes feel like you have to be like everybody else.  That you have to adjust your own rhythm and beat, just to keep up.

Maybe, if you find yourself in similar shoes to my fifteen year old self, redefine what it means to be "unpopular".  Look at it this way; you're not unpopular, you're just under the radar.  You're like this amazing song that's yet to be discovered.  As for me?  At 27, it's safe to say that I am much more confident in the person I've become.  That shy, insecure girl who felt she had to battle the world alone?  Well, she's just somebody that I used to know.