August 13, 2013
Today I enter the very last year of my twenties with a sense of new emergence. To be honest, I am happily saying goodbye to 28, to warmly embrace my new, yet older number. 28 was a year of tremendous growth. But with that growth, came tremendous struggle. I spent the better part of the year battling myself. And I worked hard to keep myself inside of my cocoon, shielding myself from the world. I was desperately yearning to fly, but it's hard to fly when something is weighing you down.
I didn't realize when I started my blog two years ago, how it would impact me emotionally. How it would change me. But I understand now. With "Running on Happiness", I spent so much energy analyzing what it is that will make me happy, to the point, where I became a real miserable person. So, I have come to realize this one thing - The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness. Worrying about being happy is an oxymoron! We can thank our frontal lobe for giving us the ability of foresight. Which in turn, can cause anxiety or fear...
The more I live, the more I learn that true happiness exists with trusting that life has this unique way of working itself out. That happiness is, the unbridled self discovery of who we are truly destined to be. But we'll never know if we stay inside our cocoon. We'll never know how beautiful we can be, to what great heights we can fly, or to where our journey will take us. But I've got to tell you. Even though there is much joy in that journey - there is also a lot of pain. And we cannot be complete without both. For me, 28 was the year that I got lost. But 29? 29 Is the year I get found.